In limbo

I don't know where I am heading at the moment. The book is out there; I understand there has been some interest in it from some papers; and three separate BBC Radio stations will be interviewing me next week!!!! But I don't know what people will think of it when they read it. I am sure that some experts will think it is wrongly focused, or that it misrepresents the facts, or that it ignores aspects that should be highlighted. I have had a reaction from a reader which suggests that it is--as I intended--readable. Hurray for that! It's supposed to be a portrait of Gilbert the man. It's supposed to give an impression of what he was like, as some recent biographies have not. But without the detailed and brutally honest feedback of reviews, how can I know what the book is really like? It is terrible to think this, but in a way the reaction to the book will show me what I should think about it. If it is a success, it will mean that my past twenty-five years' obsession has not been misdirected. If it is a failure... I won't think of that. Every day that passes without a review is another day of waiting, a day that feels wasted. I feel I am in a kind of limbo. The book is an attempt to demonstrate that I can write. Perhaps readers will disagree on that one. How can I know, without a review?

I hope I don't cock up the interviews.